Why I Will Be Walking Over Hot Coals for Big C

I’m Tonia, Area Manager at Big C Cancer Charity, where I’ve worked for the past decade.

In August I will be celebrating this milestone by raising money for those affected by cancer in Norfolk and Suffolk, by taking on the not incidental challenge of a Firewalk! The event is being held in Castle Quarter gardens, with the majestic Norwich Castle as a backdrop. It should be memorable to say the very least!

Working for Big C is a privilege and a role I find incredibly rewarding, however my path to employment with the charity followed a devastating family tragedy.

In 2006, on my 30th birthday and nine weeks before I was due to get married, my Dad was diagnosed with malignant melanoma and died just six weeks later.

I am the eldest of six siblings, four of whom are from my Dad’s second marriage. They had already very sadly lost their mother, who also had skin cancer, eight years previously and felt extremely vulnerable. Overnight I became the ‘head’ of the family. My Dad’s life insurance unfortunately didn’t pay out and so I had the challenging task of finding somewhere for each of them to live. All were between 14 to 20 years old, I also needed to find college placements for the two youngest. The oldest two had worked for Dad’s building firm and consequently were now unemployed. Eventually and with the amazing support of my now husband, Jonathan, I became the legal guardian for my youngest half-sister in conjunction with a family friend. We were all in real need of both emotional and financial support. I sought help locally, but there wasn’t anything available in the King’s Lynn area at the time, I felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders with all my new responsibilities.

My first career was in catering and hospitality but following starting a family of my own and in light of the life-changing experiences following my Dad’s death, I felt the need for a change and had always wanted a role helping others. I trained as a volunteer to be Cancer Awareness Champion, which I loved, this involved raising awareness of cancer symptoms, something very close to my heart. I also worked as a community champion where I supported local charities and organisations with their fundraising events in the local area.

Then in 2012 I saw a job advertisement which I could not ignore. Big C were expanding into West Norfolk and opening a Big C Cancer Support Centre in King’s Lynn. I knew immediately the difference that this level of support would have meant to myself and my family. I applied for the role and in what felt like a turn of fate, got the job and became the new Centre Manager.

That was ten years ago and in the time that has passed, I am delighted to have seen and experience the charity blossom and expand. We have a truly amazing team. It can be an emotional job, but often has the greatest rewards and this is how we feel knowing we can make someone feel just that bit better. We build very close relationships with those we support and sometimes this can be over many years. We work with the whole family, not just the person with a cancer diagnosis. Supporting families during this vulnerable time is an honour.

A photograph taken behind of two people talking.

If I’d been able to walk into a Big C Centre when my family and I needed help, I know the team would have ‘wrapped their arms’ around us, providing practical, emotional, bereavement support and helping to navigate the financial and welfare benefits we needed to re-house family members and fund college equipment. It would have made a huge difference then and I couldn’t be more proud and thankful that such first-class support is there now for those that need us.

Three people sat in comfortable chairs in one of our Big C support centres.

My Firewalk

And so that is why on August 6th, my heart will be racing and I will literally be walking over hot coals to raise funds for Big C!

If you would like to sponsor me, I would be extremely grateful. My gofundme page is  https://gofund.me/e55457ff

The impact Tonia has made at Big C over the past ten years is immeasurable. Her passion for helping others and leading her team, along with her lovely bubbly personality make her a key member of the Big C family and the charity wouldn’t be the same without her! I am not surprised to hear she is taking on the Firewalk and I wish her the very best of luck! I’d like to take this opportunity to thank her for her kindness and dedication to improving the lives of many local families affected by cancer.

DR MELANIE PASCALE, DIRECTOR OF CHARITABLE OPERATIONS

Many thanks to Norwich based Yellow Brick Mortgages who have sponsored the event and to Castle Quarter for hosting the event for free. Castle Quarter’s marketing and administration manager, Gemma Hyde, will be stepping up to the hot coals too and taking part in the Firewalk.

Managing Director Greg Marcham said “Here at Yellow Brick Mortgages we have enjoyed a great relationship supporting Big C over the years and look forward to doing so again. Unfortunately, cancer remains so prevalent in many of our lives and we hope this event can help the cause accordingly.”

Gemma Hyde, marketing and administration manager at Castle Quarter says; “Big C are a charity that have touched the lives of thousands of people in Norfolk, supporting families who have sadly been affected by cancer. It delivers incredible practical, emotional and specialist support, as well as funding research to help prevent, treat and beat cancer. When I heard Tonia’s story, I wanted to step up to the coals too and join her on the Firewalk in solidarity. It’s pretty daunting thinking about it, so if anyone would like to watch and cheer us on from the sidelines, please do, your support would mean a lot.”

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Reuse donations scoop £22k for Big C

Norfolk residents and recycling centre staff are being thanked for a significant £22,177 donation to Big C charity.

Norfolk’s popular chain of reuse shops at 15 recycling centres help stop unwanted goods being thrown away, and sell the good quality items at bargain car boot prices. A cut of the proceeds is donated to a chosen charity, which since April 2022 is Big C.

Councillor Eric Vardy, Cabinet Member for Environment and Waste, said: “I’d like to thank everyone who has donated and bought bargains over the past year, more than ever before, and for the dedicated site staff who have made it possible for the reuse shops to go from strength to strength. We’re proud that satisfaction with our sites is up to 85% with people particularly pleased with how clean and easy to use our recycling centres are.

“Reuse is even better than recycling as it gives items a new home, cutting waste and transport impacts by preventing the need for production of new products. We showcased the fantastic work of the reuse shops as part the launch of our climate strategy yesterday. If you’ve not visited one of our reuse shops do drop by as you never know what you may find!


“Thank you to everyone involved for this generous donation to Big C. The Reuse scheme is a force for good, cutting waste and promoting repurposing. On top of that it is raising significant funds for charity which will be valuable in Big C’s work supporting local people affected by cancer.”

Tom HOLMES, EVENTS & ENGAGEMENT MANAGER, BIG C

In the 12 months between April 2022 and March 2023 the reuse shops raised £22,177 for the Big C cancer charity, prevented 1333 tonnes from materials of being thrown away and saved an estimated 1270 tonnes of CO2. This is because materials are reused again instead of being transported away for processing or disposal. It also means that fewer new natural materials are required to make new products, as reused products are given a second life.

Norse Environmental Waste Services (NEWS), part of the Norse Group, operate all of Norfolk’s recycling centres.

David Lake, Norse Operational Contracts Manager overseeing the 20 recycling centres managed by the Group across Norfolk, said, “The reuse shops have proved very popular. I’m proud of all our reuse shops’ work to ensure that good quality second-hand items are reused and not thrown away. By donating a proportion of the income raised, it’s lovely to be able to support the incredible work the ‘Big C’ does.”

About us

We are a local, people-first charity providing outstanding cancer support.

Research

We fund vital, world-class research to help prevent, disgnose and treat cancer.

Find support

At our centres across the region, we offer support to anyone affected by cancer.

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Catherine’s story: Living with breast cancer through a pandemic

Catherine was diagnosed with breast cancer during the Coronavirus pandemic in May 2020. This is her story…

Catherine had felt a lump in her breast that appeared very suddenly. She booked an appointment with her GP who then made an emergency referral to the hospital. Catherine was then scanned for Breast Cancer. The mammogram showed cancer had spread to the lymph nodes in her armpit.

When asked how Catherine felt about the initial diagnosis, she said: “Absolute terror. At that point, I didn’t know anyone who had survived cancer. I was desperately worried about my family. I initially cried lots because I worried about not being with my children as they grew up. I was concerned about what to do about my job. I was also quite angry because I had always been healthy and careful about diet and exercise. It came out as a rage about the unfairness of life!”

Catherine was not alone in these feelings. Her husband and children were deeply worried for her along with Catherine’s sister and parents, who live far away, with her sister in London and parents in France. It was a very lonely and isolating time for her.

Catherine only saw her sister and parents once over the year, with them visiting in the garden and Catherine sitting inside her kitchen. Not being able to see family during an exceptionally worrying time, not knowing whether the cancer would worsen, made the process a lonely one for Catherine.

She said: “I wasn’t able to see any friends either. Thank goodness for Facetime and Zoom! When the children went back to school in September I had to isolate myself from them in the run up to my surgery. We decided as a family that it would be better that way than them continuing to stay off school. The risk of Covid also made it very worrying every time I went out for a walk or to an appointment at the Doctor; I felt increasingly at risk.”

Big C has played a key element in Catherine feeling less alone. Big C’s Senior Cancer Information Clinical Nurse Specialist, called Catherine every week to answer her questions and concerns.

“The Big C specialist talked me through every stage of the treatment and calmed my anxieties in the most wonderful way. She made it clear that there was no question or fear too silly or embarrassing to ask.”

CATHERINE, SERVICE USER

Catherine said: “I could never have done it without her. They explained all the benefits very clearly so I knew exactly what I could claim and how. Then when I went in for my surgery I was given a leaflet about exercise. Big C’s Health Education Officer organised for me to join a mindfulness yoga group. It was amazing, Nikki was a fantastic teacher! Also, I received a beautiful hamper in the hospital full of carefully thought through items as well as little care packages delivered to my door. The best was the 5kg bag of pasta during the lockdown!”

Do you need support?

Cancer affects us all in many different ways; we know it can be a difficult time. Whether you’d like to talk in confidence, get practical support or have a calm space away, we can help.

Somebody sitting in the support centre, talking to a member of staff.

Looking for information?

When diagnosed with cancer the amount of information you have to take in can sometimes be overwhelming. Learning new words and meanings, finding out about a diagnosis and what the future may look like can be challenging.

We’re here to help you work through all of this, with clear information and a wide range of resources.

A close up of an older lady, typing on a laptop keyboard.

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Janice’s story

Janice is one of our dedicated volunteers at the King’s Lynn Support Centre, and having been involved for a while now, wanted to share her volunteer story…

Janice is a fantastic part of the Big C family. Her daughter, Tonia is the Charitable Operations Area Manager at our King’s Lynn Support Centre.

In 2014, Janice, her then boyfriend, Eddie and her daughter Tonia began attending Slimming World. It wasn’t until Eddie started losing a lot of weight very quickly that they began to notice something might be out of the ordinary. Shortly afterwards, he began having swallowing difficulties.

After a doctor’s appointment, Eddie was sent to have an endoscopic procedure and then biopsies and on that same day, he was diagnosed with Oesophageal Cancer. This outcome hadn’t even crossed Eddie or Janice’s minds and was a huge shock to them all.  

Following his diagnosis, Tonia brought Eddie and Janice to the Norwich Support Centre in the grounds of the Norfolk and Norwich Hospital so they could access advice, information and support.  

It was discussed whether Eddie could have surgery, but unfortunately, this could not go ahead, so he began chemotherapy to shrink the tumour. His consultant gave him the prognosis that without chemotherapy, he would be able to live for another 6 months, with the chemotherapy, he could live for another 9 – 18 months.

During his treatment, Eddie had a stent fitted to help him continue eating as normally as possible, however, he lost about 7 stone. This was the thing that struck Janice and one of the hardest realisations. Eddie was a man who loved his food and Janice loved to cook for him so it was hard on them both.

Service users, Janie and Eddie

In March, Eddie had his birthday and at the same time, he was admitted to hospital to have another stent fitted. Being in hospital helped with his pain management but he really just wanted to be at home.

Eddie proposed to Janice that summer and in November 2014, they were married. They had a lovely day but Eddie only managed to stay until 7pm.

During Eddie’s treatment period, Janice recalls attending Big C support sessions in the Kings Lynn Centre, including the weekly men’s group, drop-in sessions, tea and cake with other centre visitors as well as seeing a welfare advisor and having some helpful relaxation sessions. As Eddie’s carer, Janice attended some complementary therapies, chatted with people in a similar situation and the team helped her acquire things that she needed to look after Eddie at home which made such a difference.

Eddie passed away in May 2015, 9 months after his initial diagnosis. Janice recalls him being frightened but he was a strong person, he never lost his hope.

“Big C are a big help to people and put peoples mind at ease, they put you in the right place for what you need. Some medical professionals spoke to me like I knew it all already, I didn’t know which way to turn. I was supported by Big C and it made a big difference. To have somebody care and understand what you do need, is a big thing. Big C was that. They helped us all the way through.”

Janice, big c volunteer

Following Janice’s experience with Big C, she wanted to get involved by volunteering. She know helps at Big C’s King’s Lynn Centre talking to people that visit the Centre, making them feel at home and offering a cup of tea.

“The understanding, help and compassion Big C gave was marvellous. I still volunteer and help with fundraising events. If it’s going to help, that’s why I do it.”

Volunteer Janice, sitting in a green comfy chair at the Royal Norfolk Show

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Let’s keep in touch

Subscribe to our mailing list to receive news and updates from Big C.

Coping with grief at Christmas

The festive holidays can bring up all sorts of emotions and there can be lots of expectations floating around to get things just right. If you are grieving or spending time with somebody who is trying to find a connection with the loved one they have lost, give space to all the thoughts and feelings that may arise.

  • Allow yourself to cry, tears are nature’s way of alleviating pain and strong emotions.
  • Spend your Christmas differently this year. Go somewhere special, spend the time with different friends or family, as staying at home might be too difficult for you and this is okay. Don’t try to cope alone, reach out to others.
  • You may also want to consider keeping traditions and routines you shared with your loved one, to bring you comfort, such as attending midnight mass, watching a favourite movie or taking part in a charity Christmas swim.
  • Connect with nature. Go for a long walk, feel the cold on your face and hear the noise of the leaves crunching under your feet. Breathe in the cool air and give yourself time to just be in the moment.
  • Be kind and look after yourself. Try not to judge your thoughts and feelings. Keep to a routine, eat regularly and stick to your sleeping patterns.
  • Try to remember that everyone grieves in their own way. When families and friends come together each person has their own views and ideas on best ways to remember loved ones. Try to remain mindful that others may not always know what to say.
  • Find ways to remember your loved one, this could be carrying a photo with you, wearing their winter scarf, visiting their resting place or somewhere that’s special to you and them. You may find it helps to talk to your loved one, either aloud or in your thoughts.
  • Try not to feel guilty when you have moments of enjoyment and laughter.

Remember, you can reach out to Big C by emailing us or calling our Support Line on 0800 0927640 for a friendly listening ear.  

A woman holding her hands in her lap
Other support available over Christmas

Cruse Bereavement Helpline – Call 0808 808 1677

Norfolk and Suffolk NHS Foundation Trust – Call 0808 196 3494 (available 24 hours a day)

Samaritans – Call 116 123 (available 24 hours a day)

CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) – Call 0800 585858 (available 5pm until midnight 365 days a year)

A close up of people holding hands

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Let’s keep in touch

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Living with dyslexia

This Dyslexia Awareness Week, Dr Chris Bushby has spoken to Norfolk Director Magazine on his experience of living with Dyslexia.

Having been Chief Executive of two leading organisations in the region over 25 years, a Chair of several Boards and with three honorary doctorates, certain assumptions are made of you. But many will have no idea that some days I can find it difficult even to write my signature.

I was fortunate to have been diagnosed as dyslexic when I was eight or nine. I was born at Colchester Hospital and adopted at birth, by a wonderful couple. My father was Professor of Music at the Royal College of Music in London and my mother was in teaching. My parents had a biological son, my brother Peter, who is eight years older than me and also went on to adopt my two sisters.

I attended Bedfield Primary School, which only had two classes. At that time dyslexia wasn’t recognised in the Suffolk education system and I was considered ‘backward’. My parents recognised that there was something more complex about the way I learnt and paid for me to undergo diagnostic testing in London. With a confirmed diagnosis, they also arranged for some appropriate teaching to help.

At senior school I also benefitted from the support of four fantastic teachers who recognised my abilities, Miss Arnold in English particularly. I finished school at Debenham High as Head Prefect, House Captain and Head Librarian, which is ironic as I have hardly ever read a book!

Undeniably there have been barriers. As part of the Duke of Edinburgh Award Scheme I undertook a placement at a veterinary practice in Framlingham. I loved it and ended up working there on Saturdays for the next three years. They thought I had promise to become a vet, but because of the academic qualifications and lack of recognition of dyslexia at that time, it wasn’t a possibility.

Instead I spent three years in the army in the Coldstream Guards. I was privileged to be awarded as top student on graduation which enabled a route into university on my return. By this time there was a greater understanding of dyslexia and when I completed my MBA I was allowed to bring in my personal assistant at the Suffolk Agricultural Association to type my answers.

I am a black belt, 3rd Dan in Judo. This practise and resulting achievements, competing on a national and international stage, helped my personal development and an understanding of what I am capable of. For example, I couldn’t write or read well, I see words as shapes, but I could think and speak. I was the only pupil at the time to have been awarded 20/20 in my oral English exam. My speech was on ferreting and I took in my pet ferret. The external examiner had to hold him while I did my oral exam and didn’t take any notes! Like a lot of dyslexics I have a good memory and I am also good at problem solving and seeing the big picture. This really helps as a CEO and Chair.

“I urge those with dyslexia and those around them never to consider it a disadvantage and to have self-belief. You develop your own personal strategies to cope and play to your strengths.”

DR CHRIS BUSHBY, CHIEF EXECUTIVE AT BIG C

Technology has been a game changer. I use dictation software on my phone, spell checking and find models and other visual tools, such as PowerPoint very helpful. I enjoy Radio 4 for keeping up to date with current affairs and news.

As a business leader, it is important to build a team around you with the skills to help you succeed. All work places today should have a culture where everyone has an awareness of learning difficulties and the challenges they may present. Those with learning differences should be fully supported with additional help and assistive technology as required. Simple changes can make a big difference, such as changing communication methods and using audio more frequently. Everyone should be given a chance and I am pleased to say this is certainly the case at Big C. The support given should never be patronising, diversity within teams is extremely beneficial to an organisation and can bring a different dimension to thinking and creativity.

Thankfully today, there is a lot of help available to diagnose dyslexia and support students through the education system and employees in the workplace. A few of these organisations are signposted below. Some also offer support to employers. It’s a good idea to speak to your child’s school, or to your GP in the first instance.

For further support, please contact the following organisations

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